I spent years being dismissed and belittled while keeping our home and family running. It wasn’t until something happened that landed me in the hospital that my husband finally noticed something was wrong.
This year, I am 36 and married to Tyler, who is 38. From the outside, we looked like the perfect family, but the truth was far from that. When Tyler mistreated me while I wasn’t well, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Some people on the outside, who knew my husband and me, would describe us as the “American dream.” And in a sense, we were. I lived in a cozy four-bedroom apartment with two young boys, a manicured lawn, and a husband who had a flashy job as a lead developer for a gaming studio.
Tyler earned more than enough to sustain our lifestyle, so I stayed home with the kids. Sadly, most people assumed I had it easy. But behind closed doors, I felt like I was suffocating.
Now, don’t get me wrong, Tyler was never physically abusive, but his words were sharp, calculated, and constant, making him cruel. I know, that’s not an excuse or to say he was better because the pain he inflicted didn’t show, but I’d convinced myself that it was at least bearable.
Every morning in our house started with a complaint, and every evening ended with a jab. He had a way of making me feel like a failure, even when I was doing my best to hold everything together.
His favorite insult came out every time the laundry wasn’t folded or dinner was not hot enough.
“Other women work and raise kids. You? You can’t even keep my lucky shirt clean,” he’d complain, and I’d oblige by trying to meet his needs.
That shirt. I’ll never forget that cursed white dress shirt with the navy trim. He called it his “lucky shirt,” as if it were some kind of holy relic. I had washed it a dozen times before, but if it was not hanging exactly where he expected it, I was suddenly useless.
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